Today has got me thinking …
We are constantly reminded to not be sad. Quotes everywhere tell us to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and get back on the horse. Think about some of the posts you see on social media…
Women are especially vulnerable to this, but all of us can relate to a friend telling us to put our big person pants on and get out there.
Of course, this advice can be what we need. But what we all need to remember is; we are allowed to feel sorry for ourselves! We are allowed to cry, we are allowed to moan and mope and mizzle.
Sometimes, life can really kick us. Then kick us some more, and then it rains. And we have no umbrella. And the milk is off.
To be told to go get an umbrella, but some more milk and do it with a smile is, of course, the logical advice. But often it’s cathartic to sit on the bed and stamp our feet and get into a grump. Some people like to cry, some people like to scream, some people like to eat their body weight in crumpets. A few hours later, we may read an inspirational quote that’ll remind us to ‘reapply our lipstick and smash it’. Then, and only then, should we peel ourselves from our pit and go and buy some milk.
So what am I trying to say? We are allowed to be sad. It’s about knowing when to snap out of it and do what we need to. STOP putting pressure on yourself to smile all of the time, even when you’ve had a hard time. Give yourself a time limit, or perhaps a day, to wallow. Eat your favourite meal, have a glass of wine, have a bath or gaze at the stars. Do whatever you need to when you feel rubbish. Meditate, exercise, go for a walk, or have a good old phone call with a friend. Sleep on it, and try again the next day.
It’s ok to feel shit. Don’t be embarrassed or ashamed. Embrace it, but only for a time.